Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
