My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
