It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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