Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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