So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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