I cockslap morals
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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