ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
