Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
