Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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