take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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