people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
