I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
