Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
