I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
