Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Enjoy the penises
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
