curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
