If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
So here I am, sexting at work.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
