this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
