Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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