The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
