Heybabeimwearingurpanties
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
