The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
We need a shit load of segways right now
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
