Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
