The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
