Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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