dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
