Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
