What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
