The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I will be naked everywhere
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
