he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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