I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
