By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
