I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
