i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
