O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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