Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I'm jealous of your bromance
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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