guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
