google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
