uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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