You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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