accomplished twins. life is a go
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize