All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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