I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
