she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
