I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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