"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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