If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
