The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
