Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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