What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
