Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
